OH I AM A SHELL A SHELL OF MY SELF ON THE BEACH I LAY SUSPENDED IN MY OWN SHALLOW GRIEF. OF MY OWN DOING I AM A SHELL A SHELL OF MY PUBLIC SELF, OF MY FORMER SELF...I HOPE NOT. I HOPE OF MY FUTURE.

I HAVE THE COMPULSION TO SAY WHAT COMES TO MIND. I SAY I WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD,
YET I

DON’T ACT AS THOUGH I AM READY TO DIE FOR THIS. I DO/T ACT WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT IF I FAIL I LEAD A LONELY LIFE.

I consider suicide each time I suffer and each time very seriously. I feel this is ridiculous and so I never tell anyone.